Rainbow
Saturday, July 2, 2011 at 03:41PM 
She has come to a quiet acceptance; making her way through this new life, coming now, at the end of her own. It was harder somehow, before, watching her change like the leaves in October. And knowing. All of us knowing. We sit together and talk, our roles, scripts, reversed now. Everything between us changed; different, except the impenetrable bond; Mother. Daughter. Forever the same curse and blessing combined. I take her voice, at times, as she does mine, thinking that in all of the things we have shared together, I had never imagined it coming to this.
I want to tell her it's all right when she forgets, although she no longer asks; content, it seems, to let me do the remembering. I recall the days when laughter still came as naturally as tears; joy, sadness, even anger, knowing their rightful place and time. When I didn't choose what to tell her, or how. When I didn't have to remember her life for her, forgetting, at the same time, not to let her see me cry. I remember my mother, and I mourn her. She would comfort me, as she always did, if only she knew.
I imagine holding her hands, frail and soft; aged, yet heartbreaking and innocent like a baby's. Look! I tell her, indicating the sky. He knew we would forget, I explain. Even the disciples forgot, were confused, didn't always recognize Him. He tells us it's all right; that He will never, ever leave or forget us. That even when we hurt Him, forget Him, He understands, and forgives. And so He placed a rainbow, brilliant, beautiful beyond our understanding, just to remind us He loves us, so very very much.
I watch her nod, smile, listening to me speak, once again, as though seated on her lap, in a time past. She does not interrupt; doesn't remind me that she has told me all of this and more, not so very long ago. Doesn't let on that He speaks this to her heart, her faith pure and precious as a child. Unmistakable and brilliant, she considers the bow He has painted. And remembers.
"I do set my bow in the clouds, and it shall be for a token of a covenant between me and the earth..." ~ Genesis 9:13
Reader Comments (2)
Karen, I am thinking you are speaking of your Mother. If so, know that I am with you in this gray web that has entangled and captured the thoughts of our Mothers. Mothers who cradled us in each level of growth as we made our way into becoming adults. Dear friend, I am with you as we navigate the role of "caregiver" to the one who had the most profound influence in molding us into who we are today. My Momma is in an age that my sister and I are trying to grasp and understand...she is, young, a girl of maybe 8 or 10 years...alone and desperately missing her own Momma. Momma wants to "go home" but she is speaking of her childhood home. She sobs and our hearts ache....
So thankful for my sister in Christ!! What an honor to support and pray for each other!! Bless you Vicki!