World Heavy Weight Worrier Of All Time
Friday, June 17, 2011 at 08:45AM I think I may be slipping a little in the worry department. Me. The undisputed, triple crown worry wart of all time, of all the world.. or at least, my little corner of it. The "it" girl of "I'll take that problem and raise you an ulcer and a few more gray hairs." No one came close to me, except for maybe my mother, (from whom all worry flows, bless her.).
This revelation became clear to me last night, and is all I can think about this morning. A well-meaning someone was describing the "stress" I was under, and all I could think was that she'd better lift the lid and take a nice long look. Could it be...praise You Lord... I, Karen... am no longer "under" anything... Except Your forgiveness, and grace. And when I allow it inside... Your peace. Because You've given me all of this, and made it my choice. I get to choose. Thank You, sweet Lord, and might I mention that if You have counted the times I made the choice to crawl under the worry cellar and turn the latch, I am thankful there are things only You know, and have mercifully kept from my knowing. I'm thinking it must be a little bit funny, watching me under there, whining like a five year old. Look at me, under here. Pull me out. Get this thing off me! My back hurts. I'm on my pitiful little knees down here, and You just do not understand.
This miraculous thing must have happened slowly, over time. I'm much too big of a coward to pray for patience, and I'm not certain I saw my worry as anything to be prayed away. Lord, deliver me from...Karen. She's really getting in the way of herself here, and all that You have made her and called her to be.
Caution. Maybe (definitely) He's not quite finished with me yet in this department. I actually WORRIED about posting this. Something just may come up in the next 12 minutes that will rock my world, shaking it's foundation, absolutely throwing me into the granddaddy of all Houston we have a problem epic proportion crises of all time, ever known, or experienced by man. And I will need to talk about it all... Lay it all out on the table, like the contents of my purse. I never know what's in there, either, or how it got there, or why I'm carrying it all around with me. Not a prayer request, mind you...which is precious in His sight. No. An all you can eat, unlimited visits, open all night, Worry Buffet. And I am absolutely pigging out.
I'm so thankful He has a sense of humor. And patience... even though I won't be asking for any of that today, forgive me Lord:) I am thankful that at least, for today...this hour.. I am on the other side of the cellar door... And it's double locked...from the outside.
Cross my heart.
"Don't worry about anything; instead pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank Him for all. he has done. Then you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus." ~ Philippians 4:6-7
Reader Comments (5)
Another, "we've all been there" have t-shirts and scars of proof....blessedly, we have unfurrowed brows and smiles as evidence that our burdens, through prayer, have been lifted.
Vicki, how beautifully said, and so true. You are a blessing, sweet friend.
That verse is a favorite of mine ... and Justin's. He grew up 'in the church' and then in the older teen years kinda got away from it, went through a whole bunch of 'stuff' then when he went in the Army at 23 and was in BCT and was 'disconnected' from the outside world, he started reading a pocket Bible he could keep in his ACU's. He started sending me his favorite 'verse of the week' in his letters, and this was the first one he sent. It's still pinned to my wall at work so that I can look over the top of my monitor at it. We also incorporated it into his deployment bracelets (thanks again to your family for wearing them) and even found it in song to put in his deployment video. That verse carried us both through a lot. We both still try to live by it, though some days we have to try harder than others. He is doing better at it than me right now because he is not a momma (or in his case, a daddy) yet ... but his time will come. ;-)
Paula, "thank you" does not begin to describe how very much your words mean to me. Justin is an American hero, and as Dad would put it, "A soldier in the Army of Jesus Christ." How wonderful to know that he turned to Scripture for strength, and even had a few favorites! (This verse is one of my favorites, too!) I am delighted that his very favorite one is posted here, and we were so very honored to have worn the deployment bracelets! God bless you both!
Karen, I truly enjoyed reading this and it was like I was watching my life unfold before my very eyes.....How eye opening this was for me and how much it truly blessed my heart or better yet cross my heart!
{hugs}
Rhonda