I feel this weight inside being lifted, growing lighter; myself bearing up under it; stronger. I recognize time has healed nothing, although God has surely used its passage for good. Days, moments, even words..having separated us from it, causing it to fade a little, like the glaring sun falling down behind the trees. Each passing minute pushing it farther down. But like the sun, it comes up, again and again, some days harder to face; some days more welcome than others. I have learned to embrace it; this pain. Knowing, now, He is working in it; seeing His very hand in it. Even this.
I wouldn't see it before, thinking I had only imagined Him there; arms around me, even in my least huggable. Knowing now He was doing just that. Time again, offering up His amazing comfort, the beauty and healing of His words, and I would not listen; choosing to plead my case, and mine alone.. My words no better than the ones that had hurt me; my heart as far away. I would listen to another voice, one I knew to ignore and didn't, my ears closed to the Truth; the still, small Voice...I love you. I love you...He whispered, time, and time again.
I show Him this broken heart and demand He restore me; He shows me the beauty in all things broken. This bread; My Body, broken for you. Beautiful. Holy. Broken. Abba, Father, He cried; Love beyond understanding; Love everlasting...The curtain torn; shaking the earth; rocks, tombs opened; death itself shattered. It is finished; it is finished. The Holy Lamb of God Who was broken...Behold...I make all things new..
Precious Lord and Savior, continue to break my heart open for You. I praise You in this Holy place.
"And when He had given thanks, He broke it, saying, 'This is my body, which is broken for you; do this in remembrance of Me." ~ 1 Corinthians 11:24